Music to bring it all out of me

I loved A Chorus Line - I saw it on Broadway when I was young and it made such an impression on me. Lately, I have been thinking about Morales and Mr. Carp. She tells a story during her audition about being Puerto Rican in an acting class where they are all supposed to be sledding and "feel" the snow and Mr. Carp is asking them all to describe what they feel. He gets to her and she says "nothing - I'm feeling nothing" and he is thoroughly disappointed and says she could get transferred if she doesn't start to get it. Well, I'm feeling nothing, but I think I can't get transferred and I have to hang out here until I feel something... That song has been going through my head for days now! Here's the lyrics and a video for you to enjoy: http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/achorusline/nothing.htm

So this morning I got up to work out, and felt I needed to listen to powerful women. Not the kind of power of Liz (Phair) or Tori (Amos) - that may be a little too much today, but Eddie from Ohio and the Indigo Girls were a good fit. Well, you know you are emotional and hormonal when you burst into tears within the first few bars of Galileo. I have to say though, I had a great workout, even while the tears flowed, and I feel really good and energetic this morning.

Of course, I am continuing to listen after I have finished on the elliptical, and it's now on the Indigo Girls album which just brings to mind my dad. I remember using part of "Prince of Darkness" as what I said at his funeral. And the rest of the album just brings up every angst I think I (or maybe anyone) has ever had. So maybe a good cry is in order, and this baby will enter the world with a little less on their shoulders.

Waiting...

So this baby was due on June 6th. We are still waiting for the grand entrance, and I am beginning to get a little overly focused on it I think. Every old wives tale about how to get labor started is being put to the test around here. We even had tomato-basil ravioli with basil sauce and a salad with oregano balsamic dressing tonight! So maybe we will all go into labor.

Of course I didn't help that on Tuesday my midwives started talking induction with me - that completely stressed me out and made me feel so pressured to get things rolling. I feel like everything has gone by the wayside except for getting this baby to come out. I am a big proponent of letting the baby cook as long as it needs to, so this is new territory for me. I've been trying to stay busy so I don't think too much about it, but it is easier said than done!

The plan for now is to continue to do all the things we are doing, do the non-stress test on Saturday - the ultrasound, fetal heart monitor and all - and then I've got an appointment for acupuncture on Monday morning. So hopefully we can get the ball rolling before the 18th, which is when the induction is scheduled for. At this point, since I'm fine and the baby is fine, I suspect I wouldn't come for the induction anyway...

Who would blame these kids? I guess it is warm and cozy in there!

The Devil is in the Details

We have been working hard to get some of the little things done around here and I thought I'd show you some of the most recent work.







We finally got the ceiling and soffits drywalled and finished in the gym (we just hired someone when we recognized it wasn't going to happen any other way!). Then, we moved some shelves over from the other side of the room and made a little media center there. Looks pretty good!








We also put new closet doors in the downstairs hallway and finally finished the doorways - thresholds, molding and all! Honey did an awesome job cutting the quarter round and molding. At least I feel like we won't be worried about a baby crawling over and unfinished floor!

Baby COME OUT!

Now I know that most pregnancies last more than 40 weeks. And I know with Peanut, we went to almost 42. So I have been preparing myself to go late this whole time. I've been telling people who ask that I am due in "mid-June" rather than saying the due date. But now, I have only one regular client left at work since I've done such a good job transitioning and preparing. (Go me!) Both of my side jobs are completed. I am starting too go a little stir crazy as it has been raining for days so I am cooped up thinking about when this baby will show itself. My due date is tomorrow, and so far, we've got nothing. I know I shouldn't expect anything, but I still have some part of me that thinks there is some magical knowledge about that day and I will wake up tomorrow with big pressure waves and know that it is the day.

Everyone we see asks Peanut if she is ready to be a big sister and when she thinks the baby will come. She says "June!" very brightly, but I can get her to pin down a day :( so she is not helping with the prediction. I have been doing all the right things (aside from not thinking about it of course) to help make this baby come, but to no avail as of yet. I am feeling a little impatient, and am wondering if there is something I need to do before I can relax and let the little one come. We just got our new insurance cards today - maybe that was it? We ordered a new charger for our video camera - it won't be here for a few days. Is that the hold up? I still need to get some outlets changed out and put some wall plates and safety covers on - maybe that's it.

I think I need to make lots of plans for the next two weeks and stay really busy so I don't make myself completely insane with waiting!!!

Just like gorillas

Now that we have this huge yard, we have a whole new set of issues that we really didn't anticipate. Of course we have deer that meander through and eat everything. OK, so we have a fence around the garden and we'll see if it works. We have birds and squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits, tent caterpillars, ladybugs, wild strawberries, weeds, mushrooms...all of these things we expected and accepted. Somewhere along the line we forgot about ticks. Yes, our yard is teeming with ticks. I'm not even sure when tick season is but whenever it started we knew immediately. We had to pluck a few ticks of Peanut within a week, I've had a few, honey has had a few and of course the dog has some riders.

Now I know which ticks are which and how long they need to sit and eat before I get nervous, but honestly, the whole thing is just gross. We spray ourselves and the dog before we go outside to play and do a tick check before we come in. Today Honey caught one traveling on Peanut's arm after we came inside. Got it before it bit her so that was nice. The other night, Honey came to me with the tweezers and pulled his shirt up so I could get one off of him. Then I did a quick check and found one I'd missed before as well, so he pulled it off me. We are starting to feel a little like the gorillas you see on nature videos picking nits off each other! Try to do a tick check when you are 9 months pregnant - it is a little hard to see your whole bod. Now, Honey has to check all the parts I can't see to make sure I am not missing any. Thank goodness, because we found another I would have totally missed the other day.

I have been trying to talk up the idea of getting some chickens so we can have fresh eggs. I recently discovered that chickens eat ticks, so now that is my strategy for pushing the idea of a chicken coop. Plus I think it would be pretty funny to have chickens right at the edge of the golf course. We could train them to be quiet until someone started to swing...

Mommy Stress

Peanut has started taking a little music class, and we have gone to three classes so far. The kids are 1-5 years old so there is a big spread of age and ability, and the class is pretty short (30 minutes). The teacher does lots of different things with singing, instruments, movement, drama and it all seems fun for the kids. Now I know my Peanut, and she takes a bit to get warmed up to things like this. We have taken one other class before - sort of an open gym - and by the last few classes she was really getting into it. Now we are three classes into this thing and my little one is the only one who runs circles around the room and around me while the other kids are all sitting and mostly following along! She does come back when there is something she is interested in, but mainly, she runs. There's a part of me (OK, the part with the masters degree in child development) that knows not to expect a two year old to sit quietly and follow directions, but there's another part of me (the mommy me) that knows the other moms are watching me and thinking "why doesn't she pull her kid back in?". I think since I am hugely pregnant I am being cut some slack here, but I do feel like I am supposed to be reining her in more. But she is a wild woman and I like that about Peanut!

I had no idea how much stress can occur about what other mommies think of my parenting and my kid! Learning for us is happening all the time and the best way to learn is by fostering what a child likes to do and being there to support her in her exploration. Sometimes though, I do feel like there is a little structure missing from our learning that other families seem to have tied up nicely. Oh well, she's a sweet, loving, curious, impish, two year old - what are you gonna do?

Since I Needed Something Else to Do...

I decided to scrapbook Peanut's birth. I figured that instead of having random papers and pictures and footprints in a box (mixed in with our wedding mementos) I would get them into a book before the new baby arrives. So, I needed a book, some paper, a little glue, and some markers. All non toxic/non acidic or whatever so the photos don't get ruined. This seems simple enough, but of course, it is not. I arrive at the store list in hand and realize I need all kinds of stuff to do this "right". I need stickers, a paper trimmer, adhesives, etc. And a new addiction is born.

I've done some scrap booking before, when it first became "the thing" to do and when I realized I was not using my 1700 kinds of scissors or my foam die cuts or my papers or whatnot, I gave it all away on freecycle. Now I want it all back, but I'm sure my old stuff is no longer appropriate in the new scrap booking world, so maybe it is just as well that I had to spend $150 to set up a book for my daughter 2 years after she was born. I have to admit, that it is turning out beautifully and I am thoroughly enjoying reliving the whole thing. Our doulas had written her birth story and taken pictures throughout labor and delivery (don't worry - we have edited which photos are in the album significantly!) and it is so nice to see it all together.

Meanwhile, of course, there are a million other things that I really need to do. Like yesterday I moved the car seats around so I could install the base for the infant seat. The cover is still drying (had to wash it from being in the shed) and I hope to get it on and the seat installed before little one's arrival. The funny part of that is seeing Peanut facing forward for the first time today in the car. I had no idea what she was doing back there - she is usually pretty quiet and reading her books, but has lately begun to ask for "mimit" (this means "music"). So today, she asks for music and then as she listens, has this thoughtful concentrating expression before she either says "this" and then begins bobbing her head to the tune or scowls and says "more mimit" since she doesn't like this song and wants another. The dancing head is what got me - she is really jamming out back there! It is so funny to see.