As a mom, you want what is best for your kid. But what the hell is that really? Does anyone know? Is there anyone out there who feels like they always had what was best for them? I don't think so. Sometimes, I think we need to be reminded of this. When parenting is stressful and things aren't going the way you planned, and when you are second guessing yourself at every turn, and when facebook and pinterest make you feel like a totally incompetent boob, I think we need a reminder.
I need a reminder.
My job is to be their support. It is to be their rock. To love them no matter what and show them that I love them no matter what. It is to put my own stuff aside and foster their own true self. I look around and every single person I know has some stuff, some baggage, some issues. It can't be avoided I think. No matter what we do or don't do, our kids are going to perceive the world in their own way and there will be something that they wrestle with now or later.
Perfection in parenting is a myth. Perfection in anything for that matter. I am good enough. They are good enough. We are solid. And that is the truth.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Replaceable
I had a boss once who said "everyone is replaceable". Yes, makes you all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it? He is the same person who asked me to "think outside the box but work inside the box". Hmm. So perhaps he was not the greatest boss, but he did have a good point. One that I was too young and idealistic and self centered to understand. Everyone is replaceable. If you can separate your emotions and needs from it, it is true. The world will not fall apart if I am not doing "that one thing". Sometimes I forget that, and the Universe has it's way of putting me in my place.
Friday night I woke in the middle of the night and was sicker than I have been in....maybe in forever, or at least since I went to the hospital for food poisoning back in the early 90's. After several trips to the loo, I get back to a fitful and feverish sleep thinking "I'll be fine tomorrow". I woke up and tried to hoist myself out of bed - no luck. I had to call upon Honey for help, and not just my usual request for help with the morning routine and the kids. I asked for him to take over while I worked my way to the couch. Then to get me the phone, my calendar, my files.... so I could call all of my clients and cancel my appointments for the day.
Once he saw the state I was in, Honey just took over. He is usually the "on" parent on Saturdays while I work. He changes sheets, does laundry, takes the kids out to play, pretty much takes care of everything. But yesterday he went above - he took them grocery shopping, dealt with all the meals and snacks, kept everyone calm and occupied so I could sleep all day, and generally was TAH - The Amazing Honey. The one time he had to leave to run a quick errand, the kids played doctor, telling me that I had fallen off my bike and hurt my nose and laying bandage upon bandage on my face. I didn't even need to act in the play - they worked around my inert body.
Every time I thought I was good to get up, I was quickly reminded by my own body that I was jumping the gun. I started to think about how when we don't give ourselves a break, sometimes we are forced to do so. Once I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes, I laid around and read a book for pleasure. I looked at a great new magazine that had arrived in the mail. I watched the kids and Honey play outside. By the evening, I was able to help a little getting the kids to bed, and I relished reading books with them since I hadn't really gotten to play too much all day.
I certainly don't want to be replaced, but it is a good feeling to know that the world would turn without me.
Friday night I woke in the middle of the night and was sicker than I have been in....maybe in forever, or at least since I went to the hospital for food poisoning back in the early 90's. After several trips to the loo, I get back to a fitful and feverish sleep thinking "I'll be fine tomorrow". I woke up and tried to hoist myself out of bed - no luck. I had to call upon Honey for help, and not just my usual request for help with the morning routine and the kids. I asked for him to take over while I worked my way to the couch. Then to get me the phone, my calendar, my files.... so I could call all of my clients and cancel my appointments for the day.
Once he saw the state I was in, Honey just took over. He is usually the "on" parent on Saturdays while I work. He changes sheets, does laundry, takes the kids out to play, pretty much takes care of everything. But yesterday he went above - he took them grocery shopping, dealt with all the meals and snacks, kept everyone calm and occupied so I could sleep all day, and generally was TAH - The Amazing Honey. The one time he had to leave to run a quick errand, the kids played doctor, telling me that I had fallen off my bike and hurt my nose and laying bandage upon bandage on my face. I didn't even need to act in the play - they worked around my inert body.
Every time I thought I was good to get up, I was quickly reminded by my own body that I was jumping the gun. I started to think about how when we don't give ourselves a break, sometimes we are forced to do so. Once I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes, I laid around and read a book for pleasure. I looked at a great new magazine that had arrived in the mail. I watched the kids and Honey play outside. By the evening, I was able to help a little getting the kids to bed, and I relished reading books with them since I hadn't really gotten to play too much all day.
I certainly don't want to be replaced, but it is a good feeling to know that the world would turn without me.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Every Day
I really dislike the idea of setting aside a day to celebrate moms. Really, I am not of fan of most of these kinds of holidays - they imply that we need a reminder to appreciate what we ought to be celebrating every day. Of course, we are also supposed to buy cards and flowers and go out to a pricey overrated brunch. So is Mother's Day actually for me? I think not. It does make me think about mommy hood though, and about my beautiful children, without whom I'd just be dreaming of some day being a mom. As much as I love children in general, I had no idea how much my heart could hold. Love you babies. 
Thursday, September 2, 2010
One Completed Thought
I was reading an article the other day, and I - oh honey careful for that - thought of you and your hunt for - is that mine or yours? Oh no, that's mine. Coming sweetie! Oh I see you wanted that toy and Susie has it. Have you tried asking her for it? Well, it looks like she is not ready to be done, is there another toy you might use? Yep, that one is free. All right. So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so how's that going? If we lived a little closer we would be really into that - babe crayons are for paper. Only on paper. - this is nice tea, where did you - only on the paper. Uh oh! Looks like you need to use the potty! Come on, let's go together... Here's a stool to climb and wash your hands. All set? Let's go see your friends! - You know I can't believe she is tall enough to get to the faucet herself. They grow so quickly and get so independent! Yesterday, you should have seen it, the two of them were - wow you are up really high! Let me stand close to make sure you stay safe. OK, step down like this, yes, there you go. Did it! - He is really giving me a run for my money. There is nothing he doesn't climb. - there you go! I bet she feels really happy that you gave her a turn. - With two, I feel like I can never finish a thought or a sentence before I have to - Oh, maybe you two can work something out. I bet you can both play with that toy together or you can take turns. - negotiate something or another!
It's a wonder that moms can create friendships. Thank you to all of my mom friends, past and present, new and old, for bearing with the scattered conversation and working on making real connections. I couldn't do it at all without you.
It's a wonder that moms can create friendships. Thank you to all of my mom friends, past and present, new and old, for bearing with the scattered conversation and working on making real connections. I couldn't do it at all without you.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Oh Happy Day
I keep thinking that this will be the week that everything slows down and I have a minute to catch my breath. I look at the calendar and think "oh good, when that is done, I'll have so much free time" and then something else pops up. Oh well, I guess that is what life is all about.
My wish for Mother's Day was to sleep in and not do any cooking and get to play outside all day. I did "sleep in" but really, how do you do that when you are a mom? Peanut fell out of her bed last night (first time she has done this and it's been a while in the new bed) and we sprang out of bed - I don't think I have moved so fast in months. She was fine, but then woke several times complaining and of course I start to think about concussions and whatnot... so I slept until about 7am and then I was awake for good, but I forced myself to lounge in bed and let Honey get up with Peanut. She got into bed with me while breakfast was made for all of us and then she got her shoes on, brought me my shoes and the dog's leash. The girl had a plan!
We walked the dog, then started building the sandbox that great grandma (Goose) got for Peanut. I did get to be outdoors for much of the day and it was really beautiful today. Perfect weather for working and playing in the yard. Peanut loved her new sandbox and sat right in it to dig. She helped with some raking (I wished I had my camera outside when she picked up the big rake and tried to rake the pine needles all in her little pink outfit with her pink baseball cap on backwards) and weeding, and kicked her ball around the yard.
As I looked at the backyard, I had this realization of how huge of a project this yard will be! I've always had a plan for any house I have lived in and been able to tackle it in a year or two at most. This yard is going to take a long time to plan and pull together. I think that will be fun though since it will change with our family and our needs. It is hard though to stick to basics and not go nuts planting and building patios and all - there is so much potential. So we have our garden plot and our sandbox. Next we need to start lining out planting beds and mulching, but i think we will do these one at a time.
Honey grilled up some filet mignon (from the farm - we are truly spoiled!) and made a salad. I have never seen a little tiny person eat so much steak. She had probably 1/3 of my cut! We all ate well, she is gone to bed, and now I have a moment to relax. Ahhh, maybe Mother's Day should be once a month...
My wish for Mother's Day was to sleep in and not do any cooking and get to play outside all day. I did "sleep in" but really, how do you do that when you are a mom? Peanut fell out of her bed last night (first time she has done this and it's been a while in the new bed) and we sprang out of bed - I don't think I have moved so fast in months. She was fine, but then woke several times complaining and of course I start to think about concussions and whatnot... so I slept until about 7am and then I was awake for good, but I forced myself to lounge in bed and let Honey get up with Peanut. She got into bed with me while breakfast was made for all of us and then she got her shoes on, brought me my shoes and the dog's leash. The girl had a plan!
We walked the dog, then started building the sandbox that great grandma (Goose) got for Peanut. I did get to be outdoors for much of the day and it was really beautiful today. Perfect weather for working and playing in the yard. Peanut loved her new sandbox and sat right in it to dig. She helped with some raking (I wished I had my camera outside when she picked up the big rake and tried to rake the pine needles all in her little pink outfit with her pink baseball cap on backwards) and weeding, and kicked her ball around the yard.
As I looked at the backyard, I had this realization of how huge of a project this yard will be! I've always had a plan for any house I have lived in and been able to tackle it in a year or two at most. This yard is going to take a long time to plan and pull together. I think that will be fun though since it will change with our family and our needs. It is hard though to stick to basics and not go nuts planting and building patios and all - there is so much potential. So we have our garden plot and our sandbox. Next we need to start lining out planting beds and mulching, but i think we will do these one at a time.
Honey grilled up some filet mignon (from the farm - we are truly spoiled!) and made a salad. I have never seen a little tiny person eat so much steak. She had probably 1/3 of my cut! We all ate well, she is gone to bed, and now I have a moment to relax. Ahhh, maybe Mother's Day should be once a month...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
