4 going on 14

There is lots of talk in the car on the way to and from school.  So much chatting sometimes that it is really quite amusing to just listen.  If I answer or get involved in the conversation, I often get "I was talking to _____!" clearly telling me to butt out.  The other day, they were discussing the paint colors they had used at school.  Pumpkin said he used "red and jello", and Peanut said she had used "blue and lello".  They began to go back and forth with lello and jello, until Peanut finally said "It's not Jello!  It's Lello!" in a completely exasperated voice.  It was really hard to keep from becoming completely hysterical.  I thought I'd have to intervene as Pumpkin began to cry, but then Peanut says, "Forget it - I'm just doing my own thing" and flips her hair to turn towards her window.  Oy. 

Drama

It's been cool to see how the kids entertain themselves and each other as they get older.  Of course, it is also amazing to do a task from start to finish without anyone asking to help or asking for a snack or crying that they need to go potty or pretty much any interruption at all.  Sometimes I get a little concerned when I haven't seen the kids in a while, but more often I am so please to be completing tasks at what seems like the speed of light. 

It's funny, I've noticed that they don't really play with their toys, they use the objects around them to come up with really imaginative games and scenarios.  I guess that in part is that they don't actually have any toys that do stuff for them - they only have toys that require them to take some kind of action.  It is pretty cool to see all that simple toy stuff working to enhance their creativity.  I'm feeling rather validated :)

They have been spending literally hours lately playing on their own, and I can hear them discussing all kinds of amusing things.  One morning last week, they got dressed up in double layers of dresses (yes - both of them) and decided they were going to a wedding.  They had bags with their things and gifts packed up and created a car to drive in (part of the bed).  They had some time during the wedding to sit and take a break - mom and baby relaxing at the wedding in a comfy easy chair.  While they carried on, I was able to bake a ridiculous amount of muffins, clean up the kitchen, and remain fairly focused on a conference call.  Yeah.  It's pretty incredible. 

Another afternoon was a big dress up and then creating "beds and nests" out of the couch cushions.  The attention to detail in having the covers just right is pretty astounding.  I'm sure there was more to the story - there always seems to be some elaborate back story about why they are dressed a certain way and why the beds are just so... I'm not questioning, just enjoying the imaginations!

Proof that it gets better

A friend with a 4 year old and one on the way recently asked me if it was really hard at the beginning.  As I began to answer, I realized that I was really downplaying the troubles, and when I first started talking, I even said that it wasn't too hard.  Mid sentence, I had waves of memories washing over me, and had to start my answer all over.  It was hard.  So hard that I am just now coming out of the fog, and feeling like I am begining to have some fun again.  So hard that I still cry over the things I said and did in those early days.  So hard that I am amazed we are all intact and loving one another.  So hard that I still have trouble forgiving myself for not having enough love to go around, or enough patience, or enough time, or enough energy, or enough...anything. 
The thing is though, that while I wanted to tell her it would be fine, because it will, I didn't want to gloss over it all.  So I did say what was hard for me that I hadn't expected, and what I think I would have done differently if I could go back.  I wish I'd had more of that, and I wished I'd listened and understood.  I just don't think you can though until you are there.  I had a pretty easy time with just one child - really - it was all roses and rainbows.  Yeah there were hard moments, but overall, I was a competent mom with a great kid, a fun flexible job, some time for myself, and time with my Honey.  Who knew that once we added another bundle in, I'd become so stressed, un-fun, overly emotional, overly protective, and just generally blah?  Some people seamlessly glide into having multiple kids.  Maybe my friend will be one of them - I sure hope so. 

The silver lining here though is that my first response to her was that having a second child was not that hard.  I never thought I'd be in a place where all of the difficulty faded enough to allow me to remember the positives first.  Well, here I am and thank goodness for that.   

One Completed Thought

I was reading an article the other day, and I - oh honey careful for that - thought of you and your hunt for - is that mine or yours? Oh no, that's mine. Coming sweetie! Oh I see you wanted that toy and Susie has it. Have you tried asking her for it? Well, it looks like she is not ready to be done, is there another toy you might use? Yep, that one is free. All right. So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so how's that going? If we lived a little closer we would be really into that - babe crayons are for paper. Only on paper. - this is nice tea, where did you - only on the paper. Uh oh! Looks like you need to use the potty! Come on, let's go together... Here's a stool to climb and wash your hands. All set? Let's go see your friends! - You know I can't believe she is tall enough to get to the faucet herself. They grow so quickly and get so independent! Yesterday, you should have seen it, the two of them were - wow you are up really high! Let me stand close to make sure you stay safe. OK, step down like this, yes, there you go. Did it! - He is really giving me a run for my money. There is nothing he doesn't climb. - there you go! I bet she feels really happy that you gave her a turn. - With two, I feel like I can never finish a thought or a sentence before I have to - Oh, maybe you two can work something out. I bet you can both play with that toy together or you can take turns. - negotiate something or another!

It's a wonder that moms can create friendships. Thank you to all of my mom friends, past and present, new and old, for bearing with the scattered conversation and working on making real connections. I couldn't do it at all without you.

Of potties and diapers

It seems that life with kids really revolves a lot around the bathroom. I never realized how much time and energy I would be spending on diapers, potty discussions, and training.

So everyone says that potty training goes by the wayside when a new sibling is born. They are absolutely right. It was awfully cool to use the potty before and now it is way cooler to have your pants changed like a baby. Sigh. Even though it seemed like we were in there for hours on end, I miss the days of my big grown up girl reading while sitting on the potty.

The exciting news for the little man is that his belly button stump has fallen off! Yay! This means a heck of a lot for a cloth diaperer. There are only so many cloth diapers that we have with a space for the cord, and so it has been a mix of cloth and disposables so far. But when the belly gives us the all clear, our diaper stash can be fully used and that means no more disposables! I really am amazed about the amount of trash just less than two weeks of newborn diapers makes. Of course, the amount of laundry is pretty significant right now... which is probably why this is so short.....