Once you decide to change one thing, life becomes a slippery slope it seems. Wake up and get out the door by 7, only buys stress and anxiety. Traffic adds to that feeling, and then another hour long trip home with the darkness coming earlier and earlier makes me feel like I am missing it all. I'm trying to make time for fun activities before dinner, with some success, but the two leisurely days I have with the little one each week remind me of what I am missing with the big one.
I'm still trying to get into the groove myself. Deciding what fits and what doesn't, what must and what can't. It's not even close to what I need. Clearly the things that didn't make the cut are the things I need most for my sanity - exercise, blogging, time with friends.
And while school is great for one kid, we are still in a wait and see holding pattern with the other, so that adds to my stress. Did we make the right choice? Is it worth turning it all upside down? Can't I just be with the kids and not rush around making more money so I can spend more money so I can not have time with them, so I can have someone else play with them and teach them all day? Even the questioning becomes a slope to slide right down.
So I'll question and tweak, and make it all work. But I have to tell you that right now I am just plain tired.
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Breathing
I want to send my kids to public school. I really really do. I want them to learn from children who have different life experiences from theirs. I want them to learn from teachers with different ways of presenting material than mine. I want them to learn to interact socially, understand and follow directions, develop tools for learning and exploring, and continue to be curious. I want them to ride the bus and go on field trips. I want them to play sports and join a team or club if they want to. I want to have some time for myself. I want to relax and know that while we are all learning together at home, each day they go to expand that knowledge while I have time to regroup and be me. I want to get back to my hobbies and reconnect with pre-kid friends. I want to have the flexibility of going to the grocery store by myself or actually perusing the library shelves without rushing through and picking up a million books to skim at home because both kids are pulling books off the shelf willy nilly. I want to try clothes on in the store before buying something. I want to enjoy a quiet house for a few minutes each day.
I believe in the idea of public education. I’ve worked in the public education system. I understand how it works and it’s goals and requirements. I understand that the system is serving a huge number of children with a tremendous variability of skills and needs. I know that the teachers are doing their best and most have the kids’ education at heart. I know there are classrooms and even whole schools where education has been preserved in the face of the testing hype. I know there is creativity to be found. I understand that managing a class of 30 kids requires some rules and regulations that may otherwise seem overly restrictive. I understand that following a curriculum to the T may not allow much time for experiential learning. I understand that educators may not have the time to read and integrate the latest educational research. I understand that teachers are limited by the size of their class, the caliber of their administrative leadership and support, and their legal requirements. I understand that in our state testing is somehow king. I understand that schools need money and can find creative ways to raise funds that may include marketing to my children. I understand that being active on the PTA does not mean that I have a say about what or how my child is learning or being taught. I understand that fitting it to the social structure of school is not always a good thing.
I understand that I am afraid.
I know that I haven’t got all the information I need to make the right choice for us. I may never have enough. I know that I still have time to consider all of the options. I know that we can always change our minds. I know that how my kids go about their learning and education can be an ongoing conversation with many different questions and answers. I am learning still that perfection and the absolutely correct decision are figments of my imagination. We will all do what is best for each of us and it will all be fine. I am breathing deeply.
I believe in the idea of public education. I’ve worked in the public education system. I understand how it works and it’s goals and requirements. I understand that the system is serving a huge number of children with a tremendous variability of skills and needs. I know that the teachers are doing their best and most have the kids’ education at heart. I know there are classrooms and even whole schools where education has been preserved in the face of the testing hype. I know there is creativity to be found. I understand that managing a class of 30 kids requires some rules and regulations that may otherwise seem overly restrictive. I understand that following a curriculum to the T may not allow much time for experiential learning. I understand that educators may not have the time to read and integrate the latest educational research. I understand that teachers are limited by the size of their class, the caliber of their administrative leadership and support, and their legal requirements. I understand that in our state testing is somehow king. I understand that schools need money and can find creative ways to raise funds that may include marketing to my children. I understand that being active on the PTA does not mean that I have a say about what or how my child is learning or being taught. I understand that fitting it to the social structure of school is not always a good thing.
I understand that I am afraid.
I know that I haven’t got all the information I need to make the right choice for us. I may never have enough. I know that I still have time to consider all of the options. I know that we can always change our minds. I know that how my kids go about their learning and education can be an ongoing conversation with many different questions and answers. I am learning still that perfection and the absolutely correct decision are figments of my imagination. We will all do what is best for each of us and it will all be fine. I am breathing deeply.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Construction
I've been thinking about homeschooling a lot lately. As we approach the end of the school year, everyone wants to know what we are planning on doing next year, and honestly, so do I. We have had a few missed school days for various reasons lately, and I have really enjoyed having both kids home, just going with the flow, and not trying to get anywhere in a big hurry. It hasn't hurt that our streets are being paved this week and we have spent literally watching the crews out the front window. 
The children are completely enraptured by the whole thing and we get to talk about how the crew works together. How they can tell who the foreman is. What kinds of hand signals they are using with each other. How they know the right amount of material to use. How they keep their trucks lined up the right way. Whether the asphalt is hot or cold. Why the workers wear hardhats and hard shoes. What the trucks are called. How many guys there are. What a manhole is for.
So it makes me think of homeschooling, because they are curious and interested and the directions we could go from this one event are limitless. So this week, I'm on the homeschooling train. All because of a little construction.
The children are completely enraptured by the whole thing and we get to talk about how the crew works together. How they can tell who the foreman is. What kinds of hand signals they are using with each other. How they know the right amount of material to use. How they keep their trucks lined up the right way. Whether the asphalt is hot or cold. Why the workers wear hardhats and hard shoes. What the trucks are called. How many guys there are. What a manhole is for.
So it makes me think of homeschooling, because they are curious and interested and the directions we could go from this one event are limitless. So this week, I'm on the homeschooling train. All because of a little construction.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
It's been quite some time eh? We've been traveling and I've been wrestling with big issues in my head like education, parenting, and generally being a mom, so while many an excellent blog post has been written in my head, none have actually been put to paper. So sorry you have missed out on my current neuroses!
This morning in the shower, I had an epiphany. I decided that in September, Peanut would start up in our Preschool Homeschool Co-op that she participated in last year, and I would no longer consider any other preschool or class options for her right now. I should probably start at the beginning...
I have been thinking A LOT about preschool and education lately, as I have been reading everything by Alfie Kohn that I can get my hands on. I had been considering having Peanut join a public school preschool special education class as one of the peer role models, and while the benefits would be great, the idea of public school was not really appealing to me. I never thought I would be in this position. My entire career has been in public service, much of it in the infant and toddler portion of the public special education system. I have always been a supporter of public education, and I think I still am...I'm just not sure I want to be "that mom" at the PTA meeting who disagrees with literally everything. At this point, I am feeling pretty strongly about limiting the random rewards that schools are famous for - get a certificate for a happy meal for every book you read, candy and snacks provided for remaining quiet in class - and I am feeling even more strongly about the loss of our teachers. We have wonderful teachers who can no longer focus on inspiring curiosity and encouraging learning, but are in a punitive system themselves and are teaching to the test. It is no longer about education, it is about sorting children. Reading groups, grading systems, tracks - it is all sorting. Kids staying quiet to learn...seems really absurd. Shouldn't they be excited and interested and talking with each other? I'm so afraid of the curiosity within my baby being squashed like a bug on the very first day. There is so much more about public school that makes me nervous, but at this point it is all superfluous.
So then I considered Waldorf education, which is really laid back and matches mine and Peanuts style as far as how important (or not) it is to learn letters and numbers by age 3 or whenever it is deemed necessary to learn them in order to "get ahead" (of what or whom I'm not really sure). It would provide an opportunity for her to explore with me and without me in a relaxed atmosphere with lots of art, music, and movement. The teachers are all loving and the mood is accepting of everyone. But really, while it all looks grand, it is an hour drive each way and I am not prepared to do that for a 3 year old who may or may not speak at all during the whole semester.
Then I went back to the idea of public school, and then I saw Consuming Kids. One of the things I dislike about public schools (and have always railed against) is the corporate influences. Soda machines in schools to raise money and lesson plans created by major companies and industries just make my blood boil. The film identifies some schools where they have gone so far as to sell the naming rights to the gym or auditorium in exchange for advertising. They also talked a bit about bus radio which was fairly crazy. Talk about a captive audience, and talk about taking advantage of childhood innocence. And lots of schools went for it before the public outcry was so huge they shut it down. Sheesh. So yeah. We're back on the homeschoolers bus. Which I can honestly say I have never ever ever had any clue that I would be even remotely considering going this route. Even after our co-op experiment started last year, I still assumed that we would be sending the kids to public kindergarten. Now I am not so sure.
We have two years to make that big K decision, so for now I am focusing our energies where they should be. Peanut and Pumpkin (probably starting in January for him) will do our homeschool coop, and we can spend our free time exploring whatever floats their boat. I figure we can pair our "field trips" with what we are already doing in school - as we explore each monthly theme, we will spend some time during the week diving in further so we can all learn and have fun together while broadening her horizons a bit. So during our Visual Arts month, I expect to hit some museums and probably some working art studios. We will likely be harvesting during our harvest theme :) but we also have many festivals and the farmers markets as well as working farms to explore.
Right now, Peanut is focused on princesses - specifically Cinderella. We spent the morning at the library looking for princess books where the princess is not a total floosie, and can actually fend for herself a bit. I think we gave the librarians a bit of a kick, but we did find some good stuff on Pocahontas, Joan of Arc, the real Cinderella (not the one with the blue dress, immaculate hair, and barbie proportions marketed by a certain company), and some stuff on dresses and costumes. I think by following what she loves - ballet and classical music, dancing and beautiful dresses with sparkle, we can tackle some interesting things! We've just got to be original and creative and aim to stay curious.
So now that decisions have been made, you should all hear a bit more from me on a regular basis. And maybe I will stop griding my teeth at night too. At least until the next big decision comes a long.
This morning in the shower, I had an epiphany. I decided that in September, Peanut would start up in our Preschool Homeschool Co-op that she participated in last year, and I would no longer consider any other preschool or class options for her right now. I should probably start at the beginning...
I have been thinking A LOT about preschool and education lately, as I have been reading everything by Alfie Kohn that I can get my hands on. I had been considering having Peanut join a public school preschool special education class as one of the peer role models, and while the benefits would be great, the idea of public school was not really appealing to me. I never thought I would be in this position. My entire career has been in public service, much of it in the infant and toddler portion of the public special education system. I have always been a supporter of public education, and I think I still am...I'm just not sure I want to be "that mom" at the PTA meeting who disagrees with literally everything. At this point, I am feeling pretty strongly about limiting the random rewards that schools are famous for - get a certificate for a happy meal for every book you read, candy and snacks provided for remaining quiet in class - and I am feeling even more strongly about the loss of our teachers. We have wonderful teachers who can no longer focus on inspiring curiosity and encouraging learning, but are in a punitive system themselves and are teaching to the test. It is no longer about education, it is about sorting children. Reading groups, grading systems, tracks - it is all sorting. Kids staying quiet to learn...seems really absurd. Shouldn't they be excited and interested and talking with each other? I'm so afraid of the curiosity within my baby being squashed like a bug on the very first day. There is so much more about public school that makes me nervous, but at this point it is all superfluous.
So then I considered Waldorf education, which is really laid back and matches mine and Peanuts style as far as how important (or not) it is to learn letters and numbers by age 3 or whenever it is deemed necessary to learn them in order to "get ahead" (of what or whom I'm not really sure). It would provide an opportunity for her to explore with me and without me in a relaxed atmosphere with lots of art, music, and movement. The teachers are all loving and the mood is accepting of everyone. But really, while it all looks grand, it is an hour drive each way and I am not prepared to do that for a 3 year old who may or may not speak at all during the whole semester.
Then I went back to the idea of public school, and then I saw Consuming Kids. One of the things I dislike about public schools (and have always railed against) is the corporate influences. Soda machines in schools to raise money and lesson plans created by major companies and industries just make my blood boil. The film identifies some schools where they have gone so far as to sell the naming rights to the gym or auditorium in exchange for advertising. They also talked a bit about bus radio which was fairly crazy. Talk about a captive audience, and talk about taking advantage of childhood innocence. And lots of schools went for it before the public outcry was so huge they shut it down. Sheesh. So yeah. We're back on the homeschoolers bus. Which I can honestly say I have never ever ever had any clue that I would be even remotely considering going this route. Even after our co-op experiment started last year, I still assumed that we would be sending the kids to public kindergarten. Now I am not so sure.
We have two years to make that big K decision, so for now I am focusing our energies where they should be. Peanut and Pumpkin (probably starting in January for him) will do our homeschool coop, and we can spend our free time exploring whatever floats their boat. I figure we can pair our "field trips" with what we are already doing in school - as we explore each monthly theme, we will spend some time during the week diving in further so we can all learn and have fun together while broadening her horizons a bit. So during our Visual Arts month, I expect to hit some museums and probably some working art studios. We will likely be harvesting during our harvest theme :) but we also have many festivals and the farmers markets as well as working farms to explore.
Right now, Peanut is focused on princesses - specifically Cinderella. We spent the morning at the library looking for princess books where the princess is not a total floosie, and can actually fend for herself a bit. I think we gave the librarians a bit of a kick, but we did find some good stuff on Pocahontas, Joan of Arc, the real Cinderella (not the one with the blue dress, immaculate hair, and barbie proportions marketed by a certain company), and some stuff on dresses and costumes. I think by following what she loves - ballet and classical music, dancing and beautiful dresses with sparkle, we can tackle some interesting things! We've just got to be original and creative and aim to stay curious.
So now that decisions have been made, you should all hear a bit more from me on a regular basis. And maybe I will stop griding my teeth at night too. At least until the next big decision comes a long.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
