Sunday, July 10, 2011

Still Here...

I've clearly been away from blogging lately - but I'm still here!  I've been struggling to get back to some version of myself and it's taking a bit of my time.  I do realize though that blogging and writing in general as pretty therapeutic for me, so I'm expecting you'll hear a bit more from me now that I am starting to get back into the swing of it all. 

So what have I been up to?

I started "boot camp" this past week - I'm getting up before the rest of the family to join a bunch of other people in a parking lot so we can work out as the sun rises.  I'm loving it, but it has created a whole new schedule and system for me so lots of things have gone by the wayside - some intentional and some not. 

I also have been really focusing on spending time with the kids.  Yeah, I am home with them most of the time, but I'm talking about really being with them.  Playing on the floor, discussing life and their worries, helping them negotiate with each other and be kind.  I've been trying to make light of stuff I would have been annoyed with in the past, and just loving my babies. 

I've been reading :)
I have had so many great books in my hands lately, fiction and non, and I am remembering what it is like to be so immersed in a book that I walk around the house with it hoping for a moment to read another few pages. 

I've been considering who I am and who I wish to be.  The parts of me that has fallen away that I wish I'd kept, and the parts that are still here and I'm wondering what possessed me to maintain that.  I'm recognizing (seems like a bit of deja vu) that choices can be made by me or for me, and everything is a choice.   

I've been dealing with a friendly bunny who insists that our string bean teepee is his cafeteria.  Thank goodness we have planted a bit more than we need...

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