I had a boss once who said "everyone is replaceable". Yes, makes you all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it? He is the same person who asked me to "think outside the box but work inside the box". Hmm. So perhaps he was not the greatest boss, but he did have a good point. One that I was too young and idealistic and self centered to understand. Everyone is replaceable. If you can separate your emotions and needs from it, it is true. The world will not fall apart if I am not doing "that one thing". Sometimes I forget that, and the Universe has it's way of putting me in my place.
Friday night I woke in the middle of the night and was sicker than I have been in....maybe in forever, or at least since I went to the hospital for food poisoning back in the early 90's. After several trips to the loo, I get back to a fitful and feverish sleep thinking "I'll be fine tomorrow". I woke up and tried to hoist myself out of bed - no luck. I had to call upon Honey for help, and not just my usual request for help with the morning routine and the kids. I asked for him to take over while I worked my way to the couch. Then to get me the phone, my calendar, my files.... so I could call all of my clients and cancel my appointments for the day.
Once he saw the state I was in, Honey just took over. He is usually the "on" parent on Saturdays while I work. He changes sheets, does laundry, takes the kids out to play, pretty much takes care of everything. But yesterday he went above - he took them grocery shopping, dealt with all the meals and snacks, kept everyone calm and occupied so I could sleep all day, and generally was TAH - The Amazing Honey. The one time he had to leave to run a quick errand, the kids played doctor, telling me that I had fallen off my bike and hurt my nose and laying bandage upon bandage on my face. I didn't even need to act in the play - they worked around my inert body.
Every time I thought I was good to get up, I was quickly reminded by my own body that I was jumping the gun. I started to think about how when we don't give ourselves a break, sometimes we are forced to do so. Once I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes, I laid around and read a book for pleasure. I looked at a great new magazine that had arrived in the mail. I watched the kids and Honey play outside. By the evening, I was able to help a little getting the kids to bed, and I relished reading books with them since I hadn't really gotten to play too much all day.
I certainly don't want to be replaced, but it is a good feeling to know that the world would turn without me.