He's 5 months old and he began to pull himself forward this week. I am a little taken aback and unprepared. I left Pumpkin in the living room for a minute the other day and came back to see him under the coffee table. I wondered how he did it - maybe he just rolled over and back and did his little pivot turn - but this seemed further than usual. So I watch for a few minutes and there he goes - tush up, arms out and pull with his arms. Oh gosh.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Soundtrack of my life
As we are driving home from the farmer's market today, "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel was on the radio. Like lots of songs from the late 80's and early 90's, the minute I hear the first few notes tons of memories and emotions come up. Somehow, this is the way my brain is wired. Music elicits all kinds of stuff. I can happily listen to old songs and think about when I first heard them, who loved the song with me, who sang at the top of their lungs with me into a hairbrush. I'm quietly reminiscing when Honey says, "Hey, you know it's the 20th anniversary of 'Say Anything'." I am instantly horrified. The memories I was having of seeing that movie in college - who I was with, how I was so elated and rosy cheeked in the cold Boston November night afterward, and anything was possible - now just made me feel so very old.
How did 20 years go by so fast?! It was just a short time ago that I was a freshman, who was petrified with the idea of being somewhere that I knew no one - well I had met a few people at freshman orientation, two of whom would end up to be some of my closest friends in college and one who is one of my closest to this day.
I had always been shy - hard to imagine that now. I remember clearly having my heart beat so hard and loud that it felt like it would jump out of my chest as a teacher would get closer to my name during attendance. God forbid I should have to say "Here" in front of the whole class. I remember shaking like a leaf during one of the first presentations I had to make in college. It was absolutely uncontrollable.
I had decided before starting freshman year that folks at school didn't yet know me, and I could create a new way of being with people, at least socially - I didn't deal with the performance anxiety until Junior year or so. Now don't get me wrong - I was never a wallflower. I just always waited for other people to talk to me. The first week at school, I methodically knocked on every door in our dorm and introduced myself. It was the greatest and most freeing thing. I met all the girls on our floor, the hockey players on the floor below, and the science geeks on the floor above. I met folks that loaned me blenders when we had parties. I met so many people that I knew that if I was bored or lonely or whatever, I'd always be able to find someone around to talk with.
It seems insane, that I can remember this all so clearly 20 years later. I could probably go through tons of stories leading up to that night in November, that movie, and that song. I always find it amazing and wonderful that all of these thoughts can come flooding back with a few random notes. It is such a great way to remember my life - as if it is a soundtrack. I hope that never fades away.
How did 20 years go by so fast?! It was just a short time ago that I was a freshman, who was petrified with the idea of being somewhere that I knew no one - well I had met a few people at freshman orientation, two of whom would end up to be some of my closest friends in college and one who is one of my closest to this day.
I had always been shy - hard to imagine that now. I remember clearly having my heart beat so hard and loud that it felt like it would jump out of my chest as a teacher would get closer to my name during attendance. God forbid I should have to say "Here" in front of the whole class. I remember shaking like a leaf during one of the first presentations I had to make in college. It was absolutely uncontrollable.
I had decided before starting freshman year that folks at school didn't yet know me, and I could create a new way of being with people, at least socially - I didn't deal with the performance anxiety until Junior year or so. Now don't get me wrong - I was never a wallflower. I just always waited for other people to talk to me. The first week at school, I methodically knocked on every door in our dorm and introduced myself. It was the greatest and most freeing thing. I met all the girls on our floor, the hockey players on the floor below, and the science geeks on the floor above. I met folks that loaned me blenders when we had parties. I met so many people that I knew that if I was bored or lonely or whatever, I'd always be able to find someone around to talk with.
It seems insane, that I can remember this all so clearly 20 years later. I could probably go through tons of stories leading up to that night in November, that movie, and that song. I always find it amazing and wonderful that all of these thoughts can come flooding back with a few random notes. It is such a great way to remember my life - as if it is a soundtrack. I hope that never fades away.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Twirling
When I was little, I took dance lessons. I remember an early class with jazz, ballet and tap all combined where I had to do a recital that I think terrified me (but I could be making that up - most public displays terrified me until college) and was on a truck bed in the hot sun. I remember a later ballet class where I am sure I wanted to be a prima ballerina and dance the Nutcracker.
As much as I dislike ballet now, I know I loved it as a child. As I grew, ballet became evil for me for a multitude of reasons. First was the teacher who told me I'd never be a ballerina because I didn't have the body of a dancer. I can't recall if she actually said my but was too big or if I assumed that was her meaning, but clearly since it was 30 some years ago it has impacted me greatly. Then, physical therapy school brought to my attention the unbelievable injuries ballerinas deal with and are basically expected to endure. And finally, as a Pilates instructor, I met many dancers who had all kinds of issues and injuries and continued to dance through the pain. It just made for an awful taste in my mouth.
So today I signed Peanut up for dance class. How could I not? She loves anything ballet, princess, tutu related. She twirls around the house dancing. When we saw the class she would be age appropriate for, her eyes got huge. She starts next Tuesday. Oh I hope she loves it - and never has to have the emotions I have about this. Or I hope she decides it isn't her thing early, and we are done. I think it might be harder to let my kids follow their dreams that I had and crashed, than it is to let them do something completely unknown. I always want to keep her options open and let her try out everything to discover her passions. So next week I get to sit in the lobby while she goes into class by herself. This is tough on so many levels. Here it begins!
As much as I dislike ballet now, I know I loved it as a child. As I grew, ballet became evil for me for a multitude of reasons. First was the teacher who told me I'd never be a ballerina because I didn't have the body of a dancer. I can't recall if she actually said my but was too big or if I assumed that was her meaning, but clearly since it was 30 some years ago it has impacted me greatly. Then, physical therapy school brought to my attention the unbelievable injuries ballerinas deal with and are basically expected to endure. And finally, as a Pilates instructor, I met many dancers who had all kinds of issues and injuries and continued to dance through the pain. It just made for an awful taste in my mouth.
So today I signed Peanut up for dance class. How could I not? She loves anything ballet, princess, tutu related. She twirls around the house dancing. When we saw the class she would be age appropriate for, her eyes got huge. She starts next Tuesday. Oh I hope she loves it - and never has to have the emotions I have about this. Or I hope she decides it isn't her thing early, and we are done. I think it might be harder to let my kids follow their dreams that I had and crashed, than it is to let them do something completely unknown. I always want to keep her options open and let her try out everything to discover her passions. So next week I get to sit in the lobby while she goes into class by herself. This is tough on so many levels. Here it begins!
Lots of Leaves!
All last week, I was feeling like a slacker. I watched as our neighbors had cleared their yards, neatly piling leaves into bags and lining them up on the curb. Every day I head a leaf blower or shredder or vacuum or mower running, guilting me. Every time I drove in and out of the neighborhood - green lawn, green lawn, green lawn, huge leaf pile, green lawn, green lawn. I did go out in the front yard with the kids one day and Peanut and I raked a bit. We made some progress and got some pl
ay-worthy piles going, but within a few hours the wind and the leaves still on the trees had conspired to make it look like we had done nothing. It just looked like some spots had drifted to create huge piles under the regular leaf cover. Oh well - she was tired from raking and playing and took a great nap, and I got a little workout so all was not lost.
ay-worthy piles going, but within a few hours the wind and the leaves still on the trees had conspired to make it look like we had done nothing. It just looked like some spots had drifted to create huge piles under the regular leaf cover. Oh well - she was tired from raking and playing and took a great nap, and I got a little workout so all was not lost. 
We all went out to attack the leaves this weekend - rakes and blowers in hand. It was a beautiful day and Peanut and I did our best to rake (well - she raked for a few minutes and then wallowed in piles of leaves) while Pumpkin napped in the Moby and Honey wielded the leaf blower. We created quite an amazing pile which Honey then manhandled around to the back of the house and dumped into the garden and the mulch bed
s. I got a few wheelbarrows full into the composter along with the remains of our garden. The leaves should do a nice job of keeping the good garden soil from losing too many nutrients over the winter and they should add a little bit of goodness too. Why bag leaves when you can use them? Seems silly work to me.
s. I got a few wheelbarrows full into the composter along with the remains of our garden. The leaves should do a nice job of keeping the good garden soil from losing too many nutrients over the winter and they should add a little bit of goodness too. Why bag leaves when you can use them? Seems silly work to me. Saturday, November 7, 2009
Tastebuds reset!
Our family has been eating either GAPS or Primal most (75%? maybe) of the time now. We still have some no no's in our pantry (pasta, rice, etc), but I for one don't really want them so we haven't cooked them just yet. We have had lots of veggies, but it feels like I'm the only one who really enjoys them.
Last Sunday and Monday we made an attempt to do the GAPS diet intro program. Essentially, you eat fresh broths (meat and/or bone) for a few days along with boiled meats and vegetables and probiotic foods. As you feel ready, you add in eggs, avocado, and a bench of other "healing" foods. This has been hard for Honey as he really only likes veggies raw, and those are off limits. Cooked veggies are his nemesis I think. Anyway, by Sunday at 7pm, I was so hungry I could have eaten anything, and Pumpkin was screaming because I think I wasn't giving him enough through my milk. So I bailed.
I don't mean to imply that I started eating crap, I just bailed on soup for days. We are all still doing well with out meat, veggies and fruits, and I know I feel pretty good. I've definitely lost my desperate need for carbs and sugar. Someone left ice cream in our freezer on Halloween and it has not been touched. By this time if we were not on this eating plan, that ice cream would have easily been history. I think Honey feels better too - less reflux as far as I can tell.
Peanut is still eating some grains and yogurt, but we have noticed that if she has a grain of any kind, she will eat very little of anything else. We've also noticed that she tends to get full fast on grains, even gluten free, and the rest of the day is a lot of me bugging her to eat. When she only does meat and veggies, she eats way more. I'm not completely sure, but I think she is also happier and less labile without grains. The decrease in her dairy (she could have survived on cheese alone before) has absolutely made a difference in her tummy and - not to be gross- bowel habits.
It has been fascinating to see how our tastes are changing. We had roasted squash this week which would have made me gag before, but I loved it! I'm finding carrots to be very sweet, and food to need little additional spice. Honey and I compared notes yesterday, and we had both tried a little milk chocolate after Halloween and found that it tasted a bit chemical and nasty. Dark chocolate is still wonderful as far as I am concerned!
At the end of this week, I was tired of cooking (we already do a lot of cooking, but the soup and stew and broth thing is really time consuming), so we ordered in. We decided to experiment a bit, and we had Five Guys burgers and fries one night and Chinese food last night. The burgers were good and pretty close to GAPS legal aside from the buns. Fries are of course out, but the strange thing for both of us was that our ketchup was way too sweet! We haven't had ketchup in a long time as we cut out tomatoes a while ago, so this was pretty shocking. We both felt fine though after eating whereas our Chinese food made us both a little queasy. That was surprising because I ordered steamed chicken and vegetables with brown sauce on the side and only had a tiny bit of sauce. You would think that wasn't hugely different, but I did have some soup and part of a spring roll, so who knows. There could have been soy and sugar and whatnot in there.
The most interesting thing this week though was Honey's lunch at Thai Basil. He always orders the spiciest food he can, and Thai has actually been spicy enough for him in the past. More often than not, what other people find to be really hot doesn't even phase him. Well, he couldn't really eat his Thai dish as it was far too spicy for him. So the readjusting of the taste buds is definitely happening here.
This morning we went to the farmers market to do our shopping, and for the first time we got everything we will need for the week for under $90 from the market. This may be the most exciting development. I'm thinking less about how to put meals together - it's easy because there are not a million choices - veggies and meat is really it. We are using every part of what we buy, either for a meal, stew, soups, or for compost when all is said and done, so I feel like we are living even more lightly. There is lots of cabinet space being freed up as we use up our flours and grains too - I'll soon be able to have space for jarred and canned vegetables in the pantry! Now, I'll have to learn to can...
Last Sunday and Monday we made an attempt to do the GAPS diet intro program. Essentially, you eat fresh broths (meat and/or bone) for a few days along with boiled meats and vegetables and probiotic foods. As you feel ready, you add in eggs, avocado, and a bench of other "healing" foods. This has been hard for Honey as he really only likes veggies raw, and those are off limits. Cooked veggies are his nemesis I think. Anyway, by Sunday at 7pm, I was so hungry I could have eaten anything, and Pumpkin was screaming because I think I wasn't giving him enough through my milk. So I bailed.
I don't mean to imply that I started eating crap, I just bailed on soup for days. We are all still doing well with out meat, veggies and fruits, and I know I feel pretty good. I've definitely lost my desperate need for carbs and sugar. Someone left ice cream in our freezer on Halloween and it has not been touched. By this time if we were not on this eating plan, that ice cream would have easily been history. I think Honey feels better too - less reflux as far as I can tell.
Peanut is still eating some grains and yogurt, but we have noticed that if she has a grain of any kind, she will eat very little of anything else. We've also noticed that she tends to get full fast on grains, even gluten free, and the rest of the day is a lot of me bugging her to eat. When she only does meat and veggies, she eats way more. I'm not completely sure, but I think she is also happier and less labile without grains. The decrease in her dairy (she could have survived on cheese alone before) has absolutely made a difference in her tummy and - not to be gross- bowel habits.
It has been fascinating to see how our tastes are changing. We had roasted squash this week which would have made me gag before, but I loved it! I'm finding carrots to be very sweet, and food to need little additional spice. Honey and I compared notes yesterday, and we had both tried a little milk chocolate after Halloween and found that it tasted a bit chemical and nasty. Dark chocolate is still wonderful as far as I am concerned!
At the end of this week, I was tired of cooking (we already do a lot of cooking, but the soup and stew and broth thing is really time consuming), so we ordered in. We decided to experiment a bit, and we had Five Guys burgers and fries one night and Chinese food last night. The burgers were good and pretty close to GAPS legal aside from the buns. Fries are of course out, but the strange thing for both of us was that our ketchup was way too sweet! We haven't had ketchup in a long time as we cut out tomatoes a while ago, so this was pretty shocking. We both felt fine though after eating whereas our Chinese food made us both a little queasy. That was surprising because I ordered steamed chicken and vegetables with brown sauce on the side and only had a tiny bit of sauce. You would think that wasn't hugely different, but I did have some soup and part of a spring roll, so who knows. There could have been soy and sugar and whatnot in there.
The most interesting thing this week though was Honey's lunch at Thai Basil. He always orders the spiciest food he can, and Thai has actually been spicy enough for him in the past. More often than not, what other people find to be really hot doesn't even phase him. Well, he couldn't really eat his Thai dish as it was far too spicy for him. So the readjusting of the taste buds is definitely happening here.
This morning we went to the farmers market to do our shopping, and for the first time we got everything we will need for the week for under $90 from the market. This may be the most exciting development. I'm thinking less about how to put meals together - it's easy because there are not a million choices - veggies and meat is really it. We are using every part of what we buy, either for a meal, stew, soups, or for compost when all is said and done, so I feel like we are living even more lightly. There is lots of cabinet space being freed up as we use up our flours and grains too - I'll soon be able to have space for jarred and canned vegetables in the pantry! Now, I'll have to learn to can...
So close, yet so far
I should have new bathroom pictures to share. We were so close to having a tiled shower this week. So close I could feel the hot water of my very own shower just steps from my bed...but alas, it was not yet to be. Something always goes wrong in remodeling. Clearly, we know that by now. The key is to have people you are working with who will see it, own it, and solve it fast. Thank goodness, we have those people!
I had peeked in at the tile as it was going up, but hadn't gone into the shower until just after the glass border went in. So the whole shower was tiled from the floor to about 4 feet high. At first I just looked at the tile and thought - "yep - these are beautiful!". Then I noticed the grout lines. Or maybe I should say the lack of grout lines. There were spots where I couldn't fit my fingernail between tiles. Now, the manufacturer of the glass tile, Oceanside, recommends sanded grout. Clearly, sanded grout was not ever going to fit in these spaces.
So, I called our folks and since our contractor was out of town at a meeting, his wife Beth came by to check it out. She and the tile guy and I all agree that the glass needs to be moved up. Sounds like a done deal. Except that when I went in to look at that after he had moved it, he had left the trowel lines in the thinset under the tiles. That's fine with regular tile, but with glass the lines need to be flattened or the tiles need to be back buttered so the lines don't show through. So I call Beth again, and she says she is coming over to help me pull tiles off the wall and try to save the glass before it is stuck. This is great news, as I have two little ones begging for attention and dinner needs to be cooked and I just can't imagine washing tiles while I am roasting squash.
So, I go into the shower to get started with the work, and as I am standing there, the recycled subway tiles catch my eye. I look up, and a whole section of tile is obviously crooked. OY! Then I start to inspect further, and lots of individual tiles are akimbo. Now these tiles are not totally uniform, which is fine, but they are seriously not level or plumb. When Beth got there, I showed her what I had saved so far and pointed out the new issue - she saw it too and we agreed that it all needed to come down.
OK. So I buy all recycled tile and now there is a risk that we won't be able to get it off the wall in good enough shape to reuse it?! Why not just go to Lowe's and get some random tile made in China and shipped around the world three times before it gets to me? So now I am hoping we can save at least some of the tile. The glass liners were fine (Thank goodness - they were also the most expensive of the lot!), the mosaics washed off fine, but came off the paper backing when we washed them of course, so now they are a pile of little puzzle pieces. Beth likes them, so she took them for a project at her house, and they will buy some more sheets of them for our bath. SO the glass is not a total loss - as long as it will be used for something I am happy.
The next day, the subway tiles come down. Unbelievably, only four tiles were broken. The rest came off and washed well enough to reuse! Thank goodness the guy who is doing our tiling has a sense of humor since he has spent like a week in a 4x3 space. On Monday, the subway tile will go back up with several sized spacers to keep the tiles level and the grout lines large enough for the appropriate grout. WHEW.
So the thing about all of this, is that this is the first project that we have completely handed over to someone else in this house. Last time we had tiling done at our old house, we had an issue with the border as well, and I didn't say anything until it was done - I kept thinking they knew what they were doing and "never show a fool half finished work". This time, I have tried hard not to meddle and to remain out of the details, and to not be controlling. Of course, this is the time that I should have meddled - I had emailed the installation and specs information before we started, and had the manual from the tile company there for them to see, but did not point out the things that I thought may be issues as I didn't want to seem condescending. If I had pointed out the grout specifications and the flattening of the thinset lines, we would have never had these issues. So you live and learn. Thank goodness I said something right away instead of waiting. Sometimes being a bossy chick may be a good thing!
I had peeked in at the tile as it was going up, but hadn't gone into the shower until just after the glass border went in. So the whole shower was tiled from the floor to about 4 feet high. At first I just looked at the tile and thought - "yep - these are beautiful!". Then I noticed the grout lines. Or maybe I should say the lack of grout lines. There were spots where I couldn't fit my fingernail between tiles. Now, the manufacturer of the glass tile, Oceanside, recommends sanded grout. Clearly, sanded grout was not ever going to fit in these spaces.
So, I called our folks and since our contractor was out of town at a meeting, his wife Beth came by to check it out. She and the tile guy and I all agree that the glass needs to be moved up. Sounds like a done deal. Except that when I went in to look at that after he had moved it, he had left the trowel lines in the thinset under the tiles. That's fine with regular tile, but with glass the lines need to be flattened or the tiles need to be back buttered so the lines don't show through. So I call Beth again, and she says she is coming over to help me pull tiles off the wall and try to save the glass before it is stuck. This is great news, as I have two little ones begging for attention and dinner needs to be cooked and I just can't imagine washing tiles while I am roasting squash.
So, I go into the shower to get started with the work, and as I am standing there, the recycled subway tiles catch my eye. I look up, and a whole section of tile is obviously crooked. OY! Then I start to inspect further, and lots of individual tiles are akimbo. Now these tiles are not totally uniform, which is fine, but they are seriously not level or plumb. When Beth got there, I showed her what I had saved so far and pointed out the new issue - she saw it too and we agreed that it all needed to come down.
OK. So I buy all recycled tile and now there is a risk that we won't be able to get it off the wall in good enough shape to reuse it?! Why not just go to Lowe's and get some random tile made in China and shipped around the world three times before it gets to me? So now I am hoping we can save at least some of the tile. The glass liners were fine (Thank goodness - they were also the most expensive of the lot!), the mosaics washed off fine, but came off the paper backing when we washed them of course, so now they are a pile of little puzzle pieces. Beth likes them, so she took them for a project at her house, and they will buy some more sheets of them for our bath. SO the glass is not a total loss - as long as it will be used for something I am happy.
The next day, the subway tiles come down. Unbelievably, only four tiles were broken. The rest came off and washed well enough to reuse! Thank goodness the guy who is doing our tiling has a sense of humor since he has spent like a week in a 4x3 space. On Monday, the subway tile will go back up with several sized spacers to keep the tiles level and the grout lines large enough for the appropriate grout. WHEW.
So the thing about all of this, is that this is the first project that we have completely handed over to someone else in this house. Last time we had tiling done at our old house, we had an issue with the border as well, and I didn't say anything until it was done - I kept thinking they knew what they were doing and "never show a fool half finished work". This time, I have tried hard not to meddle and to remain out of the details, and to not be controlling. Of course, this is the time that I should have meddled - I had emailed the installation and specs information before we started, and had the manual from the tile company there for them to see, but did not point out the things that I thought may be issues as I didn't want to seem condescending. If I had pointed out the grout specifications and the flattening of the thinset lines, we would have never had these issues. So you live and learn. Thank goodness I said something right away instead of waiting. Sometimes being a bossy chick may be a good thing!
Monday, November 2, 2009
A Holistic Halloween
We had such a fantastic time on Saturday! Our moms group, the Holistic Moms Network, hosted a Holistic Halloween party here at the house. The kids ran around the yard and jumped in piles of leaves - really is there anything better? We had a wagon and some hay bales ans we (well, one of the dads) pulled the kids around for a "hay ride" while the kids not ridin
g ran after the wagon. We opened up a pumpkin, and then our children got squirmy about sticking their hands in to take out the seeds. Every one of them wanted to use a spoon to scoop them out! The plan was to take the seeds and toast them, but somehow the pumpkin and seeds ended up in the sandbox...maybe we will have a volunteer pumpkin vine or two next year. There was a little crafts table set up outside with all kinds of materials to explore and create with.
When it began to drizzle, we dragged our stuff inside and ate! We had quite a spread - it was potluck, and with folks with lots of cooking talent and varied dietary needs, it was interesting and delicious. A few of the dads brought fall and pumpkin beers for tasting, we had soup, stew, casseroles, liver, veggies, pies, cakes, and I'm sure things I have missed. The children decorated mini pumpkins, made popcorn hands, and ran around in the playroom all afternoon. When the weather cle
ared, we went back out to bob for apples. Now in this era of swine flu we couldn't throw caution to the wind and stick our heads in a big trash 
can like we did when I was a kid, so each child had their own bowl! It was a riot watching them all - some trying to eat the apple in the water, some dunking the apple after each bite like the water was a dip. Of course a few got very wet, but it was warm and we were outside so all was well.Honey and I were talking afterwards and we both agreed that it was great to have active parents with us. What I mean by that is people who take an active role in parenting their kids wherever they are. You can see them keeping their kids in sight out of the corner of their eyes while they carry on a conversation. At the first hint of trouble, their posture shows they are tuned in to what may happen next, and they can make suggestions or requests of the kids in order to help them negotiate play, get to the potty on time, or keep their dinner from spilling off the plate. The kids learn to deal with social rules and the parents assist but don't take over, rescue, or coddle. Many of the families in our group follow (loosely or otherwise) attachment parenting. The most amazing thing about this is that attachment parenting usually gets a bad rap for just allowing children to run amok. Honestly, I have thought that myself, and I can see how the ideas and principles can be misinterpreted to mean "let your child run wild". To me at least, the tuned in parent can respond in a loving way and help children understand what is expected of them in a loving and connected way.
So a good time was had by all and our house remained intact in the face of 10+ kids from birth to 3 or so and their parents. We successfully celebrated the holiday without a serious sugar overdose, and everyone went home happy. Happy Halloween!
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