Searching

I grew up in the Northeast. Fast talking. Busy. Very important. Always trying to get ahead. Art was in museums. Only the best ones. No one listened to country. Few people I knew went regularly to church or temple. I felt like believing in a religion, in God, was beneath me somehow. Like I was "better than" because I wasn't following the herd, even though, of course, I was in that I wasn't - see?

After some trials and tribulations that were bound to come with the choices I made, I went off into the woods and found my religion. The sunrise in the Smokies, the towering pines, the mist underneath me when I was on top of a mountain. The awesomeness of it all made me feel small and shrunk my troubles to a manageable size. I believed then that I was held. Protected. Loved. The closest to God that I have ever come.

I am feeling a need to experience this again. To feel safe. To believe. To give over everything and be free of the thinking. To walk for miles, days, and listen to the world. To see beauty in everything. I've been here for almost 20 years now, and while I am certainly not in the true South, I am influenced by the people, music and culture here and beyond. I'm thankful for it's (relatively) slower pace. I have found myself listening to country and "feeling" it. I'm drawn to the way people see God in nature. I'm wanting I guess, some magic. I know it is here, perhaps I just need to open my eyes.