Lessons

Sitting outside today at playgroup with some moms from HMN, one commented that sometimes the hardest part is just to get out of their way.  The kids, she meant.  Once they started rolling with their imagination and creativity, there was a house and family on top of the playground collecting sticks, mulch, ice, and who knows what else for their dinner.  A lot of cake making was happening inthe sandbox.  Pushing, pulling, riding, digging, collecting, feeling, talking, directing, negotiating, assisting, all led by them.  I watched in wonder as my lately quiet and shy girl set out the scene and directed the players.  I loved my little one working hard to follow the rules laid out for him a nd trying to pull his weight.  Parenting well seems like less work.  It's allowing them to work it all out and deal with the messiness that is scary I think, so we get too involved and take too much responsibility for what is not our to take.  A lesson that gets repeated whenever we need it so it seems. 

Still a Festive Halloween

We did have a fun Halloween weekend, aside from the sadness of the cat. I had done a little table scape of gourds and such that the kids loved. Pumpkin especially would grab the items and scream "gourd!" as he cheerfully banged them on the table and floor.


Pumpkin was sick Friday night and Saturday, so we moved our HMN Holistic Halloween and harvest Party to my co-leaders house at the last minute. She took it all in stride and was really chill about doing it all that day. Thank goodness for good friends!

We baked and did some crafts (what else is new?!) for the season. Pumpkin pecan muffins were *really* good! Coconut flour made them gluten free, and chocolate chips made them scrumptious.

Everyone loves to color pumpkins. We glued, painted, colored, carved and scooped out our pumpkins. Both kids loved the seeds too.

Here is my Cinderella - I finished that dress Friday night. It turned out too big in the bodice and too long, but that's what you get for doing on the fly fittings on a three year old.

I love the underskirt - she looks very regal.

It was interesting to see the princess thing unfold. We saw several little girls with the Disney outfits and Peanut was quite smitten by them. She loved her dress though. One of her friends at the party had a pink princess dress her mom had made for her, and Peanut was so excited for them to be the pink and blue princesses. The other little girl told me right away that she was wearing a princess dress but she was a princess all the time no matter what she was wearing. Yep - so's Peanut! That's why I love these HMN people!

All about who?

I'm realizing more and more the differences between moms and dads and their perspectives on life with kids. The other day, I was going over the plans for the weekend with Honey, which included two Earth Day events where my moms group (Holistic Moms Network) had booths. It was shaping up to be a busy weekend, with me doing set up and breakdown of the booths both days since my co leader was with her family due to a relatives illness. While it ended up that it was calmer than that by far, I was planning and getting my head around how best to spend time with my family, keep them all from melting down, and get our booths taken care of. It was all about everyone else. My mom came down to help out, so Saturday was a breeze. Honey and I could set up sans kids, he would go back home to check on them and I'd man the booth until the first volunteer arrived. Then I'd go back for clean up later that day, again leaving the kids with mom. My mom planned on leaving Sunday morning, so it was going to be a little more complicated that day. While talking through this with Honey, I posed the idea of him bringing the kids Sunday to enjoy the event while I set up/cleaned up. His look said it all. No thanks. After a bit more discussion about the event - it was for Earth Day and there would be kids activities to do, he said "I don't care about Earth Day!". Well, yeah. But these are our kids, and it would be fun for them, and I have to go anyway, and wait a second... when did it become all about him?

An a-ha moment. I paused, and it sunk in. He thinks, "What do I like, what am I interested in doing?" then he thinks, "I bet the kids would like that too." and that's how it goes. I think, "What would the kids like? What would be great for them to experience? Where can they learn new ideas and meet interesting people?" I then consider if I will enjoy it too, and even if I won't really like it, if it is of benefit to them, I'll do it. So I likened it to reading a book for the 800th time - you are bored and really don't like doing it, but your child is totally into it so you read it again. Earth Day whatever - there's a petting zoo and some cool planting projects - we're going. It is NOT all about you. Honestly, I can't remember the last time it was all about me, and frankly it annoyed the heck out of me that he even thinks that way. It is a window into the inner workings of men and dads though, and I think it is important. In my experience, moms tend to put kids first to their own detriment, so while it is not going to be all about me anytime soon, I think I can continue to learn something from Honey about keeping myself a little higher on the list.

Turns out we only had to set up Saturday and clean up Sunday, so in the end, it was a non-issue. I wish we had spent more time at the Sunday event - it was really nicely done and there were a lot of kid activities. Alas, our day was a little full, Peanut had no nap, and all she wanted to do was look at the animals in the petting zoo anyway, so maybe it was good we only spent a short time before we had to break down the booth...

Making the Break

You know you have a problem when the very first thing you do in the morning is hit the power button. Even before you pee. It's really bad when you can't ignore the little red flashing light telling you a new email has arrived. And you know that when you have chronic pain in your thumb, you officially are an addict. I'm making the break. After several years of Black Berry addiction, I am finally cutting the cord.

Why? Well, I have had some concerns about the safety of cellphones in general that I've written about before (see it here). Apparently texting is safer, but I am a complete ninny when it comes to texting. So much so that we have the texting features shut off on our current phones. I'm also home most of the time, or I'm driving with kids in the car and we're talking or singing, so calling is out. I used to be a regular driving/calling nuisance, but after realizing that I was getting frustrated with other driver on the phone, and they were probably saying the same things about me, I cut talking while driving. Not to mention the whole Oprah pledge. So I've decreased my cell usage dramatically, and now we are barely using 30 minutes each month between Honey and I, when we have a plan that gives us like 400 or 500 minutes a month.

But the email is a whole other story. I've had a Blackberry at work for several years, and had a really hard time with feeling cut off from the world when I left work to raise the kids. Honey got me a new BB and I was complete again. But...I think the ability to see the emails coming in does a few things that I'm not a fan of. It distracts me from my actual life. And really, what is so important that I need to drop everything and tend to it immediately? I work at home as a mom. Yeah I co-lead the HMN chapter, and do some volunteer stuff, but there is nothing "emergency" about that. Seeing that the pics are up from this weeks preschool class, that there is a sale at Lands End or that someone posted on my Face Book wall takes me away from what I am currently doing. Sometimes an email on the BB makes me feel the need to check something, email back, or otherwise cut the current activity short. It feels like I am not in control of my time and I am at the whim of others.

After looking at how much we were spending each month on cell service, and comparing that to how much we use and need, it seems obvious that we should just do it. I have a computer and can check my email during the day or in the evening. Honey can't even use his phone during the day since he can't bring it into his office. So really, we are perfect candidates for prepaid phones. As long as I can stand the withdrawal.

Well, now comes the exercise of finding the best company and the best value, and the absolutely impossible task of finding a way to use one or two of the multitude of old cell phones we have laying around. It pains me to buy a new one, but all of the companies' phones only work with their network. We have two Verizon phones, but they are so old the representative said they couldn't use them and we'd have to buy new phones. At $50ish bucks a pop, that seems counterproductive. And our current phones can't be used with prepaid service (OK so clearly that's a racket).

We found an old Tracfone and have started the process of changing Honey's number to that one. I ended up buying a partially recycled phone from T-Mobile. So for about $30, we both have phones and are ready to activate them and add airtime. It will end up costing around $235 for the year for phones and minutes, which is about $750 less than what we would pay for a year of our current plans. The only drawback is that there is no service we have found that will let us keep the phone activated and only buy the minutes we think we will use. Judging by our current usage, we only need about 400 minutes for the year between the two of us. The least we can buy is about double that. Oh well, maybe I'll suck it up and learn to text!

Nursing Our Future - HMN does me proud!

Once again, I am proud to be a mom. A holistic mom. A nursing mom.

This beautiful video made me cry when I watched it. I am so pleased that moms can and do nurse freely without concern for what others may say. It is clear from these pictures that you have to know what you are looking for to see that a mom is nursing in most instances. I have given a waiter my order while nursing and he never had a clue. With my second baby, it is so automatic to just nurse when he needs to eat - I continue with whatever i am doing and can get him into position and feed him with one hand. I do remember early on with Peanut how I looked around to see if anyone was watching me when I "had" to nurse her in public. I was not concerned enough to stop nursing, but I can see how the pressure from others might force a new mom to throw in the towel and switch to formula or a bottle before they may otherwise choose to. When I see a mom nursing a looking a little timid, I always try to give her a smile or some words of encouragement. I will truly rejoice once breastfeeding becomes all about feeding and not so much about the breast. Hopefully this is a step towards making that happen.

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: February 12, 2010
CONTACT: Nancy Massotto, Executive Director
PHONE: (877) HOL-MOMS

HOLISTIC MOMS PROUD TO BREASTFEED
New Video Highlights Nursing Mothers

Caldwell, NJ – Inspired by a recent article in the Herald Sun (Australia) reporting that young women are reluctant to breastfeed their babies due to fear of public embarrassment, the Holistic Moms Network has launched a new project to highlight the beauty and confidence of breastfeeding women. HMN members from across North America submitted photos of themselves proudly breastfeeding their children – everywhere from the Eiffel Tower to the Brooklyn Bridge – for the Nursing Our Future video featured on the organization's website.

"Breastfeeding is one of the greatest gifts a mother can give to her child," says Executive Director Nancy Massotto, Ph.D. "Nursing offers babies enormous health benefits – physically, psychologically, emotionally, and sustainably for the planet. We want young women to embrace a culture of breastfeeding and to become informed about the benefits for moms, for children, and for the planet."

The Herald Sun report indicated that more than half of the Generation-Y men and women polled did not want their children breastfed in public for fear of embarrassment. Despite the World Health Organization's recommendation to breastfeed until at least six months of age, 75 percent of the study's young women stated they were unlikely to do so.

"It's such a shame!" says Dr. Linda Folden Palmer, author of The Baby Bond and new Holistic Moms Network Advisory Board Member. "I actually never saw a baby breastfeed in my 37 years before I nursed my own. I suppose my Chiropractic training helped me to feel comfortable displaying myself breastfeeding, though I almost never saw another nursing mother. One day a nervous mom sat beside me and my 10 month old nursling and started breastfeeding her own child. After several minutes, she turned to me and said she was so excited, she felt so free, that she had never done this before and I gave her the courage to breastfeed publicly! From that point on, I was on a mission to let others see and learn about nursing, everywhere I went. HMN's new effort is aligned with that passion."

Empowering mothers is a cornerstone of the Holistic Moms Network's mission and through the non-profit organization's Chapters, parents gather to offer one another support and advice while also learning about holistic living options from local practitioners and guest speakers. "Being involved in this organization has made me feel accepted in so many ways, and has helped me grow as a person and a parent," says Laurie Cunningham, a member and Co-Leader of the Northern Virginia Chapter.

Breastfeeding is one of the many interests shared by the organization's members, although not all members nurse their babies. "We are a very diverse population and we each make a variety of health and parenting choices," states Dr. Massotto. "We encourage holistic and natural choices, such as breastfeeding, but understand that not all options are available to all parents." The health benefits of breastfeeding are clear and widely supported in the scientific literature. Organizations, health care professionals, and government agencies, such as the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), are "committed to increasing breastfeeding rates across the United States."

"One of the barriers for many young mothers is a lack of awareness about breastfeeding as well as a culture that is not particularly breastfeeding friendly," argues Dr. Massotto. The Holistic Moms Network hopes to raise awareness by showing young women images of breastfeeding and to help them find the support and encouragement they need to continue.

To view the Nursing Our Future video, visit the Holistic Moms Network's website at http://www.holisticmoms.org/category/news-events/nursing-our-future or on their YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/HMNNational. Breastfeeding mothers are also encouraged to share their personal breastfeeding photos on the organization's Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Caldwell-NJ/Holistic-Moms-Network/87293135584.

Special Thanks
Our thanks and gratitude to the many Holistic Moms members who shared their inspiring and tender breastfeeding photos for this project; to HMN National Team Member Julie Wagner for putting them all together in a beautiful montage; and to breastfeeding mom Catherine Marie Charlton for her moving music.

Is all press really good press?

I've contacted the Washington Post several times with press releases trying to get our moms group on their radar. Before we started the local chapter, we (my co-leader and I) were interviewed for a story in the Post on non toxic toys. It was great fun, and the article turned out well although it did make us look like we had spent a fortune on things for our kids that, at the time, people thought were crazy. Well, fast forward a few years, and the Post has finally taken heed and one of their columnists attended another local chapters event. From what I gather, she worked the room, talked to many of the event attendees, and voila - we were on the front page of the Metro section! Which would be great if it weren't such an unbelievably scattered and unflattering article.

The author highlighted some of the chapter members who are very into specific food preferences and diets, and while we do have many members with varied eating habits, not everyone has food at the top of their priority list. We also came off as being a group of rich, white, SAHM's, who all bake brownies with black beans in them and could care less about poor hungry people as long as we get our organic raw goat cheese. Honestly, I think black beans belong nowhere near brownies, and if I've said it once, I've said it a million times - IT IS CHEAPER TO EAT HEALTHY! The cost savings of buying food instead of "processed food products" is huge. In addition, the saving on health care costs, prescription drugs, and days off work is huge as well. As far as being rich, many of us do the things we do in part because they are cheaper - cloth diapers are cheaper, growing your own veggies is cheaper, using regular plates vs. paper plates is cheaper, using cloth napkins is cheaper, purchasing meat in bulk from a farm and sharing it with friends is cheaper!!!!!

This article just perpetuates the myths that:
1) it is impossible to be healthy if you are poor,
2) that people interested in health are kooks,
3) that people interested in their own health are not at all invested in other people's health, and
4) if you don't do all of the "holistic" things (whatever those are) then you are not "holistic enough" to be in the Holistic Moms Network.

The author feels like it is impossible to make changes in her food choices, and is intimidated by this group of women who have done and continue to make small changes towards a healthier life. After a odd discussion about obesity and Mexico, the author gets to the main point, buried in the last few lines - " 'It's about taking small steps,' Elliot told me. 'Make one change at a time.' " None of us have gotten where we are today in a moment. It's been a lifelong journey for me - I got interested in health in high school, and have changed and tweaked my workouts, diet, environment, and life since then. I would not have made half the positive changes without the support of my peer group - people who made me feel like I and my family are important enough to try something different and new. People who don't smirk or blow off the idea of eliminating grains to see if it makes a difference in your energy level. People who have tried pastured beef vs. grain fed beef and can also taste the difference. People who will share seeds with me so i am not shelling out lots of cash each year to start my garden. People who have supported me in learning how to can at home to preserve my harvest and, yes, to save money.

The whole point of the Holistic Moms Network is to be supported in making positive changes without judgement. To be judged by this reporter as a group of self centered, food snobs is hurtful personally and for the group. I do hope we continue to have a diverse membership with people who are just beginning their journey as well as folks who are well on their way. Sadly, I think this article would have turned me off to the group a few years ago, and I would have missed out on knowing and learning from these wonderful women and families. Now to repair the effects of the press...

Another busy week in the life

A dull moment - nope we don't really have them. There is always plenty to do and check and try and catch up on and start and finish and redo....

This week, we started preschool with Peanut. A few families from our moms group, the Holistic Moms Network, have created, planned, and finally implemented a small coop preschool. The first few months we'll meet once a week for school with parents rotating as hosts, teachers, and assistants. We wanted an opportunity for our kids to have some structured learning and feed their interests and curiosity. We also think outdoor activity and exploration is really important regardless of the weather! The first month is at our house with me as the teacher, so I am having fun with lesson plans (any teacher I have supervised will know my stance on infant and preschool lesson plans... good to have them, but they never actually go as planned) and the winter theme. We had a great time making pine cone bird feeders, exploring animal tracks outside in the snow, and talking about hot and cold, melting, winter animals, and a myriad of other related ideas. I like to have a starting point and let the kids show their interests so we can get on a tangent.

At snack yesterday, I guess Peanut was thinking about school. She said "look mommy, there's some birds out there eating food! I think they are eating seeds...from a pine cone. We have to check tomorrow." I love to see and hear her putting it all together.

The sleep saga continues with Peanut...we even took her to the doctor (not a really common occurrence in our house) to rule out anything physical. It seems to have made an impression though because Peanut will tell me the doctor said that sleeping is VERY important. We've had some major downs (a four + hour tantrum from 3am on one day) and some major ups (8pm to 4am straight sleep last night!) and have worked and reworked our plan of attack. Now that we are sure it is all behavior, we are feeling better about drawing a line in the sand, and it seems to be working. We have also taken the mailbox idea from Julie. Peanut likes the idea of the mailbox, and liked getting mail this morning even though it was a white post it note that said "No stickers today... try again tomorrow!". She says that when she sleeps through the night her mail will be purple with stickers. OK - I'm in.

My little big man is scaring me a bit - he has decided to take a step towards cruising. He turned 7 months old yesterday. Yeah. A little early I think, but he's all about it. Really, it just goes to show that kids learn to do all the things they need to without the walkers, jumpers, exersaucers, and whatnot. He's never been in any of those and he is speedy fast - so was Peanut.

With my mother's helper, some exercise, a little more sleep, and the ability to wear most of my pre-baby clothes, I am feeling like more of a person this week. Now don't get me wrong - I still have very few unstained items of clothing and makeup eludes me most days so you can see the circles and know how many hours I've slept, but I am on my own list and that feels pretty good.

My turn to talk

If you know me, you know that I like to talk. I think one of the most difficult transitions for new moms or for moms who move from working to staying at home is the decrease in adult interactions. I have been lucky enough to have a slow transition period - I worked part time from the time Peanut was 4 months old until Pumpkin was born, and had a slow taper in my hours at the end of my pregnancy. I've also been able to make amazing friendships through the Holistic Moms Network, that keep me talking and thinking and learning all the time.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talk about my passions. Although I am a holistic, green, natural parenting mama, I don't like to push my views on others - if you ask, I'll tell you. If you seem interested, I'll venture there, but the minute there is an inkling of discomfort or resistance, I'll back off. It is a lot of time and energy trying to read people and be PC about so many topics, so when I get the chance to talk, it feels great! That's why my mom's group is so wonderful - I don't spend all that energy trying to be gentle with my views. I can put them out there and people can agree or disagree without hurting or being hurt.

So while the kids were napping (hmmm, one was just "resting") I was interviewed by a columnist for Northern Virginia Magazine. She asked some really interesting questions that made me think about things more deeply than I had in a while. Not only did I have the opportunity to be passionate, no holds barred, but I have been thinking about her questions and having the most interesting dialogue with myself!

We talked about the things that are most important to attain and maintain health as a mom. Of course, if you don't take care of your own mind, body and spirit, how will you have the energy to care for your partner and children? Immediately, I thought of our difficult transition to a family of four, and the change in my attitude being the deciding factor in my own mental health. Once I let things go a little, prioritized and centered myself, the juggling became easier, the guilt lifted, and I was genuinely happy to be home with my kids. Long ago, I would have thought daily exercise, time for myself, meditation, eating well were at the top of the list. That's all definitely still on the list, but the mindset is tops. I may not have the neatest, cleanest house, and I may be wearing the same jeans as yesterday but we are all happy and healthy and having a good time together.

How do I get my information on the cutting edge "green" or "holistic" issues? I pondered that one too. There are some go to spots for news, but more often than not, another parent has been focusing on one aspect of health or parenting or environment, or something and they share what they have found with the group. Then I can go to the links they have posted or websites they site and read and determine for myself what I think or how I interpret the information. Sometimes, one parent will bring something up and another will refute it with other research. It is always interesting, and always new. To me, it just is. I'm honestly surprised when what I know is not common knowledge. I had a whole conversation at Peanut's dance class the other day about lead in artificial Christmas trees and lights and was surprised that this was news to most of the moms there. I think I had learned of this last year or the year before. I just know these things because that's the news I follow. If you are interested in baseball (like Honey) you know the stats, who's injured, what each teams chances are of getting to the world series...you just know. There is filter that jolts your brain when something of importance is on the radio or in the paper. I can be listening to NPR and barely paying attention and Kojo will bring up an environmental study as an example and I'm zeroed in.

I was asked about policy. Gosh, I haven't thought about policy in a long time! In another life, it was all I thought about, but now the day to day is what I'm after. How interesting to consider though what policy should be in order to push the natural or "slow parenting" agenda forward. Again, my personal life took center stage - policies that acknowledge the tremendous importance of parenting and allow families to parent as they see fit, rather than force them to stay home or go back to work based on finances, transportation, day care options, etc. Families should be able to parent in the best way that works for their family and children and be supported in that endeavor. Birth options of course are high on the list too. The idea that we should regulate where and with whom someone gives birth is ludicrous. Birth policy should allow that birth is a natural process that can be peaceful, powerful, intense, and calm all at once. We should not have policies that continue to reinforce the idea that birth is a painful medical procedure. Now that I think about it, some of the regulations on toy production, food labeling, farming, and marketing of pharmaceuticals are probably high on my list of policy issues as well.

One of the most interesting questions was "what do [I] get out of volunteering as a chapter leader for the Holistic Moms Network?" When it began, I was seeking out like minded people with kids that could have a play date with us and not roll their eyes. Remember - we started when it was weird, not cool to be "green". All the moms groups I tried when Peanut was born might as well have met at McDonald's. The talk centered around foreign made plastic toys with batteries that thwart imaginative play, getting on the preschool list by 6 months of age, and the wonderful "deal" on sweatshop produced Walmart clothes that week (it's no deal - we pay for it somewhere). I didn't think I was asking for much - just a few mom's who questioned conventional wisdom. I have come to realize that this community is so much more than that. The information we share, experiences we can relate to, challenges we bring to each others thinking, and support in our varied choices are irreplaceable. For every questioned asked there are several answers. My involvement in this group helps clarify my own path, and validate my life and parenting choices. It feeds a need for me too in that it allows me to be a part of a larger community, to feel like I fit in somewhere in the world, that I have a role to play here. I enjoy the work I do to coordinate the community, and like being able to use my work world skills in my mom world. I feel like all of my degrees and training are being used for a good cause.

I sure hope the column turns out well, but either way, my thoughts have been stirred up by the experience. How enjoyable to think about the day to day in a new way. Thanks for sparking my brain a bit Renee!

A Holistic Halloween

We had such a fantastic time on Saturday! Our moms group, the Holistic Moms Network, hosted a Holistic Halloween party here at the house. The kids ran around the yard and jumped in piles of leaves - really is there anything better? We had a wagon and some hay bales ans we (well, one of the dads) pulled the kids around for a "hay ride" while the kids not riding ran after the wagon. We opened up a pumpkin, and then our children got squirmy about sticking their hands in to take out the seeds. Every one of them wanted to use a spoon to scoop them out! The plan was to take the seeds and toast them, but somehow the pumpkin and seeds ended up in the sandbox...maybe we will have a volunteer pumpkin vine or two next year. There was a little crafts table set up outside with all kinds of materials to explore and create with.

When it began to drizzle, we dragged our stuff inside and ate! We had quite a spread - it was potluck, and with folks with lots of cooking talent and varied dietary needs, it was interesting and delicious. A few of the dads brought fall and pumpkin beers for tasting, we had soup, stew, casseroles, liver, veggies, pies, cakes, and I'm sure things I have missed. The children decorated mini pumpkins, made popcorn hands, and ran around in the playroom all afternoon. When the weather cleared, we went back out to bob for apples. Now in this era of swine flu we couldn't throw caution to the wind and stick our heads in a big trash can like we did when I was a kid, so each child had their own bowl! It was a riot watching them all - some trying to eat the apple in the water, some dunking the apple after each bite like the water was a dip. Of course a few got very wet, but it was warm and we were outside so all was well.

Honey and I were talking afterwards and we both agreed that it was great to have active parents with us. What I mean by that is people who take an active role in parenting their kids wherever they are. You can see them keeping their kids in sight out of the corner of their eyes while they carry on a conversation. At the first hint of trouble, their posture shows they are tuned in to what may happen next, and they can make suggestions or requests of the kids in order to help them negotiate play, get to the potty on time, or keep their dinner from spilling off the plate. The kids learn to deal with social rules and the parents assist but don't take over, rescue, or coddle. Many of the families in our group follow (loosely or otherwise) attachment parenting. The most amazing thing about this is that attachment parenting usually gets a bad rap for just allowing children to run amok. Honestly, I have thought that myself, and I can see how the ideas and principles can be misinterpreted to mean "let your child run wild". To me at least, the tuned in parent can respond in a loving way and help children understand what is expected of them in a loving and connected way.

So a good time was had by all and our house remained intact in the face of 10+ kids from birth to 3 or so and their parents. We successfully celebrated the holiday without a serious sugar overdose, and everyone went home happy. Happy Halloween!

My Tribe

I've talked about it before - finding my tribe, my people. I am so grateful to have discovered a wonderful group of moms like me. So when I first saw the remarks below, I smiled, teared up, nodded with recognition, and just felt this had to be shared. This is from the Holistic Moms Network Blog and was posted today on our national yahoo group for us all to share. If it speaks to you, you may want to check out HMN - there are chapter all over the US, or you can start one yourself. Being involved in this organization has made me feel accepted in so many ways, and has helped me grow as a person and a parent.

These are the words of our Executive Director, Nancy Massotto from the 2009 Natural Living Conference Introductory Remarks:

For those of you unfamiliar with the Holistic Moms Network, we are a non-profit support and resource network for parents interested in holistic health and green living. I like to say that we are part community building, part support, and part education and information provider.

At a recent event, a man asked me about HMN and what we did. I offered my standard explanation.

And his response was, “Oh, so you’re just a mom’s group.”

Years ago this might have thrown me into a state of rage.

The feminist in me would be angered by the suggestion that moms are undervalued in our culture, that our child-rearing is not accounted for economically, much less psychologically or socially.

The political scientist in me would be frustrated by the dismissal of a “group”, particularly one of parents, and the failure to acknowledge that significant social and political change has occurred in this country because of the passion, knowledge, and dedication of parents who have rallied around an issue and demanded change from our legislators.

The mom in me would be dismayed to hear that my community was viewed as some irrelevant social club that doesn’t matter to the larger society.

But instead, I just smiled knowingly because I know the truth.

The truth is that we’re a mom’s group who calls on parents to embrace nature and all that it has to offer us for life, health, and the future.

A mom’s group that honors a woman’s natural ability to birth and to feed her baby, empowering her to be in control. To instill a mother with the confidence that her body is powerful and able.

A mom’s group that validates a mother’s desires and dreams and to realize that childbirth is a sacred rite and not an inconvenience.

A mom’s group that recognizes the power of a parent’s natural instincts. To trust in our wisdom about what is best for our children and not to be devalued by anyone, simply because they claim to be a professional, and to reinforce what a parent already knows.

A mom’s group that understands and respects children, that nurtures their needs and desires and does not push them into independence before they are ready, helping to raise a positive and powerful generation.

A mom’s group that embraces the power of the body to heal. To nurture ourselves and our children naturally and simply, allowing the body’s innate power to shine through. To be open-minded to the ways in which our bodies heal and thrive that do not come in a bottle, off a shelf, or from a prescription. And, by doing so, we empower parents to make choices to enhance their innate power to achieve wellness.

A mom’s group that understands the connection between food and health. To call on nature to provide us with nutritious, abundant food. To honor food as it should be: fresh and local, untainted by chemicals or pesticides, cultivated by the hands of farmers whose passion and commitment gives grace to our meals. To shun food that is altered in a science lab or trucked across the country at huge environmental waste. A mom’s group that protects family agriculture and the land that feeds us.

A mom’s group that accepts the idea that there is not one path for education. To recognize that our children learn in many ways and to honor their choices, their interests, and their passions, regardless of whether or not they fit into an “appropriate” curriculum. A mom’s group that helps our children learn to be the future leaders of our society.

A mom’s group that understands that holistic parenting is a journey that takes time. That some of us pursue our journey in baby steps and others speed through. We respect the journey – the places where we are and where we’ve been, the many options and choices, and the people around us, wherever they are in their journey. A mom’s group that honors diversity, refrains from judgment, and encourages respect.

A mom’s group that realizes that the decisions we make impact others and the earth. A group that empowers families to change their lifestyles to reduce environmental impact, to respect the power of nature, and to honor the beauty of the world around us. A group that will take the road less traveled because it is less damaging to the planet. To make simple choices every day to conserve, to live simply, to work in harmony with our environment and not against it. A mom’s group that is protecting the health and well-being of our planet, providing for a future of our children’s generation.

A mom’s group that accepts people from all walks of life and that is open to more than moms. A group that welcomes dads and partners, step-parents and expecting parents, practitioners and professionals, because we recognize that our voices are stronger if we work together and that there is power in us coming together. A mom’s group that understands that social change comes from community building and that community is the wellspring from which activism begins.

A mom’s group that is proud to take the unconventional route and to stand our ground by becoming informed and educated. A group that understands that popular wisdom is not always wise and that convention does not mean truth. A mom’s group that has created a community voice for holistic living and that helps thousands of parents across North America to stand their ground, to be unified, and to be heard.

This is who we are. This is the Holistic Moms Network.

So to the man who asked me:

Yes, we’re “just” a mom’s group. And I am “just” a mom.

Huge Freecycle Score!

Last week, the whole family went to hear a speaker on composting that was hosted our Holistic Moms Network chapter. He was just what I needed to inspire me to get moving again on my composting. We have a "pile" in the yard - just yard debris that we let sit out there and decompose. It will become "black gold" someday, but not for a long time. We used to compost our kitchen scraps when we had a tumbler like this, but we left that at our old neighbor's house when we moved and have yet to pick it up. Actually, I just sent Honey over there now to go get it. From what Mitch, our speaker, said we should fill the tumbler up and then let it do it's thing rather than continue to add stuff to it. To me, this meant we had to start another compost pile or bin. We always have scraps in the kitchen to toss and really half the point of composting is to save the usable scraps from ending up in the trash or the disposal. Also, it is hard enough to train everyone to toss the veggie and fruit leavings in the compost bin under the sink instead of in the trash or disposal - imagine I we are constantly changing that. Oy.

So I'm thinking we will have to get another tumbler, because we don't want critters getting into the compost and we don't have the time/energy/inclination really to build a lacking bin. This means a few hundred bucks that we don't have in our budget. Oh well. I figure we will scour craigslist and something will turn up. Well, what do you know - I saw a post on our local freecycle for a beat up compost tumbler like this one, and said "woohoo!". I replied that I wanted it, arrangements were made, and sweet Honey made two trips with the tremendous thing and it's stand strapped to the roof of our Santa Fe. Free! Yes free! A $500+ composter! We set it up in the yard yesterday and have already added last nights tomato ends, stray spinach leaves, onion nubs and pear and apple cores. Here it is in it's new home...the drum is a little banged up, but it is fully functional and who cares if your composter is pretty or not?

If you haven't joined your local freecycle group yet, you are a ninny. We have gotten so much great stuff for FREE! When we first joined, it wasn't to get things either. I originally joined when I had bought my townhouse and was renovating it. I was hoping to get rid of some things without bringing them to the dump. I was successful in that, and soon realized I could get rid of pretty much anything. I know you have crap in your attic or garage that you don't need or want. I know, I know - there is no tax deduction! I still donate quite a bit, but you can't donate an open container of ice cream that you just don't like the flavor of. I have given away a pan of BBQ when we ordered too much for a party, shelves, cabinets, a floor (!), fabric, sewing patterns, record albums...you name it. Now, I keep a box for stuff to give away by my computer and when it starts to get full I sit down and post on freecycle. I check the site out every day or two to see what others are parting with and sometimes (like the composter) I hit gold! I've gotten lots of things including clothes, (a maternity swimsuit with the tags still on!) a brand new drying rack, hangers, toys, shrubs and plants and have met some really nice people along the way. So join up, and save those old patio chairs from the landfill. Some guy is happy to take them and paint them up for his yard. There is someone who needs a part from your old broken kitchen aid mixer. Someone will use the rest of the body glitter you only used for clubbing that once, and there is a taker for all those pieces of wood leftover from your deck building. Join freecycle! Save stuff from the landfill and make someone else very happy!